During an episode of Blackadder the Third, it became clear that the bumbling staff of the Prince Regent’s household had burnt the manuscript of the dictionary written by Samuel Johnson. In the midst of the shock and horror that greeted the news, Baldrick announced that he had a cunning plan. “Hoorah,” said Prince George. “Well that’s that, then.” Of course, the plan had more holes than Swiss cheese, but George’s response to it was similar in many ways to public reaction to Government announcements. There’s a problem, but the Government has a plan, so that’s okay. We can forget about it.
The first parts of his plan will barely scratch the surface. It may be the case that one or two young people may, through luck or timing, obtain a job by focussing more often, though Clegg’s assumptions seem to be based on the notion that, at the moment, young people are simply not looking hard enough. This smacks of the idea of the ‘feckless’ unemployed which we heard so much about in the 1980’s. Perhaps Clegg’s next suggestion is that they should purchase a bike. However, in the case of most people looking for work, visiting the Job Centre more often will only improve their chances of finding a job if the jobs are there to find. Employment advisers do not possess magic wands and can only work with what they have, no matter how many times you see them. You could move in with them, but if a job is not there, they cannot help you find one. I'm reminded of Margaret Thatcher's only visit to Middlesbrough, when she was approached by a man holding 200 unsuccessful application forms. Her answer to him (as she sped away as quickly as she could) was that he should retrain. "Retrain as what?" he asked. "I'm thick."
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The current Government’s own version of Baldrick, Nick Clegg, attempted to solve youth unemployment on the Today Programme this morning by announcing a series of measures which amounted to nothing more than scraping the soot off and sticking the pages back in. In response to a 20-year old from Middlesbrough who had been unemployed for five months, he announced that she will now be able to go to the job centre every week, instead of every fortnight, and sit down with her adviser. To look for a job. That isn’t there. Well done, Nick. He also told her that if she was unemployed for another four months, she would qualify for a new work placement programme. Great. Kick your heels for another 120 days and we’ll then let you work for someone for free. I’m not sure whether Clegg expected to be thanked for these announcements, but I doubt whether the good folk of Middlesbrough are currently raising the rafters from Coulby Newham to St Hilda’s. Clegg also announced subsidies for jobs which sounded spectacularly like the Future Jobs Fund – which was scrapped by this Government and has been rubbished by them ever since.
Leaving aside the issue of why the BBC only ever ventures to Teesside to cover stories of poverty and despair, I’m not sure what Clegg hopes to achieve with these new initiatives. Perhaps he is hoping that creating enough sound and fury will convince people that he is ‘doing something’ about the problem and therefore the problem is going away.The first parts of his plan will barely scratch the surface. It may be the case that one or two young people may, through luck or timing, obtain a job by focussing more often, though Clegg’s assumptions seem to be based on the notion that, at the moment, young people are simply not looking hard enough. This smacks of the idea of the ‘feckless’ unemployed which we heard so much about in the 1980’s. Perhaps Clegg’s next suggestion is that they should purchase a bike. However, in the case of most people looking for work, visiting the Job Centre more often will only improve their chances of finding a job if the jobs are there to find. Employment advisers do not possess magic wands and can only work with what they have, no matter how many times you see them. You could move in with them, but if a job is not there, they cannot help you find one. I'm reminded of Margaret Thatcher's only visit to Middlesbrough, when she was approached by a man holding 200 unsuccessful application forms. Her answer to him (as she sped away as quickly as she could) was that he should retrain. "Retrain as what?" he asked. "I'm thick."
As for work programmes, I suspect another cunning plan. Will those undertaking this free labour be counted among the unemployment statistics? I bet they won’t. The message is: sign off for a month and we will pay you benefits plus travel costs. With any luck, that should bring unemployment down by a quarter of a million and make us look good. Then, when your placement comes to an end, you sign on again and some other poor sap can take your place. With any luck, people will forget all about you.
Which means we are left with the Future Jobs Fund. David Cameron has said many times that the fund is unaffordable. All eyes will be on George Osborne to spot his next move. I would wager a young person’s Job Seeker’s Allowance that there will either be a cut in Tax Credits or a freeze on benefits. That should secure enough money to pay for their erroneous ways. In other news, the Chief Executives of 75 companies whose profits went down last year saw their average pay rise for the same period. We’re all in this together, didn’t you know?liamstubbslabour@hotmail.co.uk
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